Monday Musings

To this day, whenever I try to read "Big Sister and Little Sister" (by Charlotte Zolotow) I cannot get through the whole book without breaking down, crying. I am not exactly the crying type. Thanks to three older siblings, I have a pretty good tolerance to physical pain, and I'm pretty good at not crying even when I feel like I want to. However, this book is definitely the exception. If we tried to read this in class, I would die, and it'd got like this: Ms. Galang reads the book out loud, students are either taking notes or trying to make it look like they're taking notes. Suddenly there's me! And I'm running out of the door, sobbing! Yeah, not a pretty sight.

Anyway, this book really means many things to me. As I do have an older sister, I can really relate to this book, and yet there are quite a few times when I really don't. When I was a bit littler, or at least before my older sister became a teenager, there were times when the events in this book really seemed to take place. Although my sister, (Re)Becca, was always bossing me around, it was because she was looking out for me. She'd hold my hand as we crossed the street, she'd help me find my classroom and introduce me to my teachers (and flip out when she couldn't figure where I'd gone), she'd teach me how to manage my time best while doing homework. Then as she got to about twelve, she became a teenager. I know, that shouldn't work--how can a twelve-year-old be a teenager? By acting just like one, of course. And that's what she did. Becca began chewing gum, playing more softball, getting more exclusive with her friends, and bossing me around--but this time without that whole bit of "looking out for me".

That's when I started to relate less to the book. The story's idea that the sisters are looking out for each other was nearly gone. Becca was no longer that caring or supportive of me, and yet I would still try and be nice to her, to be that little sister.

Why I even tried, I guess we'll never know.

Well, now that I'm reading what I just wrote, it's wrong. I tried because Becca was so nice to me, before, and now I was trying to be nice in return.

Now, things are a bit better. When I was littler, like many little sisters, I'd try to copy my older sister. But once I quit doing that and found ways to be me, ways to be different from the rest of my family, Becca sees me differently. Now, it's less like I'm her pestering little sister, and more like that friend who is just younger but still pretty cool. Or at least that's how it seems like, to me. She includes me more with her friend, asks me more about what she should wear (I am the more fashionable one, of course *insert winky-face emoji here*) , and asks about that new band her friends are talking about, generally I heard of them at least a week ago *another winky-face, please!*.

And yet, there are times where I'll take a step back and realize, we're back at the beginning, looking out for each other. And other times, I really just want to punch her. But I know if I had actually done that even once, I wouldn't be here to write about it.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on "Big Sister and Little Sister", by Charlotte Zolotow.